Cheating: Wouldn’t You Like To Know?
I do not need to define cheating as we know what it is but interestingly just like it varies with different cultures, so it does with humans (male and female alike). In relationships (whatever kind but most importantly marriage), I think it is important for each party to define what actions they perceives as cheating. This would help reduce the hassles and arguments that could arise from a future innocent gesture. Cheating can range from holding hands to hugging to perking to kissing to eventually sex. One man’s cheating act can be another man’s normal way of life. So it is better to define it in relationships.
The big question is, if you spouse were cheating, would like to know? I am not talking about mistakenly bumping into condoms in his pant pocket, or picking up his call if he was far away or in the shower only to hear a female’s voice saying, “hi bae, when are you coming over”. Nope am talking about needing to find out, making a conscious effort to know after you have seen some signs. I am talking “curiosity”.
Am not married, so I do not claim to know the bond and trust between husbands and wives but I would definitely want to know (please note that when I share my opinions, it is usually from a female’s perspective. So men, cheating and my views here apply vice versa). First of all, I believe I am a realist. It is most comforting for me to face the truth in situations and find solutions head on. When I say “know”, I mean catch him red-handed/pants down/caught in the act (whichever you choose to call it). Make sure he sees you. Wouldn’t you want to see the epic look on his face? Watch him try to explain the situation?
In this case, I do not subscribe to “wetin you no know, no go kill you” (Nigeria’s common expression for “you are suspecting o but don’t worry eh, just pretend like you don’t care but be dying inside, nagging around the house, transfer aggression to your friends and kids”).You see, what might actually kill me will be the guessing, worry, not being in-the-know, assuming i am not able to confront the situation. Undoubtedly, it is going to hurt a lot but I believe the truth will set you free (John 8:38) instead of living in the guilt and shame. I also believe forgiveness comes with repentance and confession. A person cannot forgive what they do not know. And how shall they know, only through confession.
So yes, I would like to know, not because I plan to fight whoever he’s with; divorce him or anything that drastic yet. I prefer to know, so that there can be openness, repentance and ultimately forgiveness (the latter is for the man who still has shame, very little fear of God, willing to repent, change and who’s conscience has not being seared as with hot iron) and consciously sort a solution (physical, Psychological, biological, sexual, spiritual solution). After the forgiveness comes the healing process of rekindling trust and Love.
So would you want to know/find out if you suspect your spouse was cheating?
Gehn gehn as in Nollywood! I will like to know..some pple will ask to wat end? Its to blackmail the hell out of the person into doing every other thing you want! Lol, abi na...
ReplyDeleteHmmmm... if the reason for your curiosity in checking on your spouse to see if he's cheating is for you to be able to blackmail him, is just you giving him the yardstick to cheat more, cos in his mind he would be like.."at most I would get her a car of her choice to appease her".. lol
Delete----WG
As for me , I really don't care .. . my job is to check my flaws " know what made him to cheat" then improve on it but if after doing all that and no positive results ....... I will leave..
ReplyDeleteLol @Amyzee. Curious blackmail o. That Ferrari that I hav bin wants, he must buy it o.
ReplyDeletetry bluemail cos e go prefer to divorce den use from d ferrari moni tk wed d oda gal
DeleteIt depends. Sometimes what you don't know doesn't hurt.
ReplyDeleteHow about the reason that make married people cheat, like
ReplyDelete*bad habits
*wife no longer sexy mabe out of shape{dont love for a reason}
*trust
so wat do u trhink cold mk ur spouse cheat?
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