Be Careful What You Ask For

Be Careful What You Ask For

Hi people, am back and better. How are you today? So I had an epiphany the other day. An epiphany is the sudden realization or clearer revelation about a concept. Sometimes you know, have heard or read about something but suddenly it hits you, you can now relate to it, apply it to life situations. In other words, greater understanding and wisdom begins to flood in about a particular idea or concept.

I was watching a reality TV series titled ‘married at first sight’ where different human relationship experts come together to analyze profiles and interview individuals who apply to participate in a marriage experiment. They match individuals based on scientific proof of compatibility and the couples only get to see each other for the first time on their wedding day. After which, the honeymoon follows, moving in, finances are discussed, meeting family and friends, and finally in 5 weeks they decide to either stay together or get a divorce. Crazy right? It was interesting to watch and yes I had an epiphany.

One of the females who was having problems with her “husband” said something and I quote “you know, I realized that my husband has most of the qualities that I penciled down that I wanted in a man but he came with much more than I asked and didn’t prepare for” Bang!!! This was it. The point of sudden realization and understanding that, when you ask for rain remember to accept the mud. When you ask God for certain qualities in a person, be it husband, boyfriend (vise versa with respect to gender), parent in laws, e.t.c, Remember that it will also come with some extra qualities you may not want. 

In more practical terms, if you want a macho man, masculine, strong, carefree, hands on, (like me, but I don’t want the baggage o, lol) he may also be egocentric, chauvinistic, controlling, you may have to pick up after him. If you want a soft, handsome, fresh, dressy, ajebutter guy, he may also come as mummy’s boy, spends more time in the mirror than you. If you also want hardworking, serious minded, corporate guy, he may come alone with being workaholic, uptight, too busy and gives less or no attention to you. If you want a tender, loving, caring, passionate guy, he may also turn out to be a stalker, jealous, attention seeking, over protective and the list continues.

At this point, I know you get me now. Bearing in mind that no one is perfect and there is also no excuse. My mum always says “shine your eye”. If you are planning to be serious with someone or marry them (male or female), make sure you count your cost. Count all d positive features you want and also the ones you don’t like or want, accept and come to terms with all of them. If you check yourself and can’t deal with the negatives, you leave. But the earlier the better. Ofcourse some negative characters are cultivated in the relationship or marriage but better and less painful than the ones you knew before tying the knot. My thoughts.