Expression of Love - Vals Day Edition



Happy Vals day MEB readers. It's the "season of Love" according to world calendar. But I personally think everyday should be a day to express Love for Lovers, the less privileged and each other hence fulfilling the verse "Love your neighbor as yourself" (old testament) and better still "a new covenant I give to you, that you love one another even as Christ love the church" (new testament).

I have being thinking about the different expressions of Love. How Lovers (people in a romantic Relationship whether as married, engaged, dating couple) express love. I know there has been books written on the different love languages which are gifts, services(offering to help out), words of affirmations, physical touch and what's the last one? And I see a common factor. "doing", "action".

The lovely boy band (Westlife) of the early 2000 sang "saying I love you, is not the words I want to hear from you. It's not that I want you not to say but If you only knew how easy, it will be to show me how you feel, more than words is all you have to do to make me feel, then you wouldn't have to say that you love me, cos I already know".  Why say so much "I love you" and have a totally weird way of showing it.

So today is "Valentine's day" and a lot of "showcasing" of Love will happen. Great I love it but what happens the days, weeks and months after? What happens when he or she really need you to be present. Talk her through a tough decision, hold her hand through an illness, probably get her to the hospital and drugs as well, attend an important friend's event, office or even religious event, help out around the house, say something nice because she/he is having a crappy day at work, advice him/her about a business venture even help out with research or proposal writing, "ginger" and encourage them because they are having those low self esteem and self doubting moments, etcetera.

After careful observation in recent times, I realized that people appraise and then praise themselves on how they are the best of friends, husbands, wives and lovers without any sense of if their partners think same. Most times their partners don't, the question remains, WHY? Then the answer was easy, it is the selfishness in humans. People do what they like and what is convenient for them and expect you to love it and be elated without consulting or "codedly" researching to find out what you would really like.

It is like the man whose wife's birthday was coming up. Now her old car is breaking down more often than it should (not that it is old though) and she really wants a new car. She may have even mentioned it a couple of times here and there but would not be too loud about it so hubby doesn't feel pushed, forced or pressured. But the day comes and he makes her dress up and says "I have a surprise for you". She is elated in her heart, it's a car. Then he blindfolds her and leads her away and she hears "surprise, happy birthday" and her wonderful husband has thrown her the most lavished birthday party ever. So now she is happy but not elated anymore and feeling disappointed none the less. Hubby did not pay attention but he is right around the corner boasting to his friends "and I not the best?, I surprised her real good, look at her so happy". (it could be vice versa gender wise and in different circumstances).

The Lesson is to pay attention to your partner's needs if you want them to fully and wholeheartedly appreciate your kind gestures. So go ahead spoil him/her today and remember, love is not a one day event, but rather a lifestyle and continuous event once put in motion. Happy Vals day MEB readers. I love you much. 


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