Genotype and Marriage
Hello MEB readers, a very happy Sunday to everyone. Hope you are having a restful evening. Now this genotype issue has been in my thoughts. (I know you think it's about me. Nah not at all, I just have roaming thoughts a lot and often wonder what others think about certain societal issues) I think every time I write, people raise eyebrows in my corner. *smiles*
Now medically it is adviceable that an AS carrier should not marry another AS carrier for the fear of producing an SS (sickle cell anemia) child. It is said that the couple has 25% probability of having an SS child or children. I.e for every 4 children they have atleast one will be SS. Which is not absolute because the 25% can show up on all the offsprings.
Over the years, there has been different suggested solutions from medical professionals. There is the artificial insemination (IVF And PGD Pre-Implantation Genotype Diagnosis) where the embryo is screened and those free of SS genotype will be inserted into the mother's womb to develop and she can carry it to full term and deliver the baby (expensive procedure). Or the couple can get pregnant naturally and before the third month go to check the baby's genotype and if it is SS, the can terminate the pregnancy/abort it and try again few months later until they get the genotype they desire (emotionally draining for the couple as the mother would have started to develop a connection with the baby). Or they are advised not to get married to each other.
My concern is, as an AS Genotype lady who finally meets prince charming, everything she wants in a husband, kind, gentle, ambitious, rich, tall, handsome, Christian and loves you (as in confirmed) etc but he is also AS or an AS Genotype man who falls for this beautiful lady, kind, ambitious, intelligent, Christian, loyal to the core, love you for real but has AS Genotype, would you really leave him or her and yes the resources are available, you are ready to get married. Would you? Am just curious.
Bearing in mind, I know a few SS people or parents with SS children. It is no easy life at all. First why knowingly bring a child into this world to just come and suffer? The pain and God forbid the child eventually dies. Why knowingly put yourself as a parent through all the hospital runs and death scare? Will the marriage survive all that?
On a positive note, it says about 25% chance, so God willing you may give birth to your 2, 3 kids and the 25% SS will not show up. I have seen AS couple who dammed the whole thing went ahead got married and first child in, very healthy AA baby boy, God willing the second could also be a very healthy AS baby and shop closed. Some of us sef, our parents never checked and here we are. Also God and his miraculous works can do all things, turn impossibility into possible and has turned some AS carriers into AA, SS into AA, HIV to healthy people.
Back to the ready-to-marry man or lady, would you really give up friendship, love, romance same communication level, understanding, Christian (as in fears God and won't cheat on you) loyal, faithful, respectful, knowing all you now with so much enlightenment, technological and medical advancement and solutions give up on a great person and the joy they bring to you because of genotype?
Well to everyone according to his faith.. How solid is your faith to bring to bear the birth of an AA child.. That aside, I have noticed in recent times that no matter the status of the friendship at that moment, the first question a guy or a girl asks is, Pls what's your genotype? lol..
ReplyDeleteIn response to your question, is it that both parties where so carried away enough not to ask at first instance or the other was hoping since I wasn't asked it means he/she must be AA.. But if I was the one in this aforementioned situation I would first of all seek counsel from God and elders around before coming to a decision... Cos it's a lifetime decision..
After fellowship last Sunday, a handsome young man requested to ask me some questions. He is obviously searching for a wife. He said he wanted an honest answer devoid of spiritual jargons. He asked two questions; if you approach a girl for marriage
ReplyDelete1) is it wrong to ask for her genotype
2) is it wrong to ask for her sex life history?
I asked him why he needs to do that. His explanation bothers on people messing up themselves and ending up not able to bear children. I asked him if he himself is ready to declare his own history to the girl. "Yes sir", was his answer. Then I asked him if he was born again and if he was attracted to her because he loved her. He said 'Yes' to both questions. Then I showed him what the scripture said that true love covers a multitude of sin. If you love her, her past which has been forgiven by the Lord should not be used to judge her. Just as yours should not be revisited. Besides if a man is in Christ he is a new creature. Old things are passed away and all things become new. Agreed that humanly speaking his fear is genuine but again the scripture says perfect love cast away all fears. As for the genotype aspect I shared our testimony which applies to many couples in my generation. Like Abraham's servant we trusted the Lord, the love we felt and the witness of the Spirit we received and married and have lived happily for decades. No genotype tests and no analysis of the past. The only condition was "Marry a fellow believer." The other testimony I gave him was that of a popular gospel musician who happens to be a christian brother and a blood brother to me. After 7 years in marriage without issue they went searching for help. One of the doctors they met recalled that he operated on the sister when she had a bad case of abortion and removed the womb. This led to a lot of confession and repentance from the sister. The brother held on to God's word and his love for her. Today they have their own children including a set of twins. Do young people now need to know genotype before they fall in love? If you AS fall in love at first sight will you kill the love if you find out he or she is AS? Do you know of cases where AA married AA and they experience problems like barrenness, children with syndromes or autism etc? Life especially for a Christian is not about man's permutations. That was the sin of Eve! No wonder Jesus asked "When the Son of man returns shall He find faith?